The outfit these verses describe Mordecai wearing wasn’t a fashion statement but a means of conveying the grief which had engulfed his heart. Throughout the Old Testament, tearing clothes and wearing sackcloth and ashes was a common way to publicly display mourning, agitation, and consternation (Job 1:20; Jonah 3:6-9).

This anguish was especially personal to Mordecai because he carried the burden of knowing his people were about to be exterminated on account of his refusal to bow before Haman (Esther 3:2-6). He had done what he thought was right, and he had to leave the rest to God. But that did not mean he glibly walked about, singing of God’s providence. No, Mordecai headed for the middle of the city, wailing bitterly. It’s a sad picture, and one replicated throughout the provinces as the news spread and others reacted similarly (4:3).

As he cried and mourned, the king’s gate was as close to the throne as Mordecai dared to go. If he had gone any closer, he would have been a dead man. Kings generally don’t like it when people are grieved by their decrees. At times, we have a similar disdain for sadness within the church. Perhaps you have even heard it said that solid, faithful, believing souls never feel the need to lie on the ground, wail, or mourn. This is an error, foisted foolishly upon believers and owing far more to self-help books than to God’s word.

George Lawson writes that “the faith of God’s people does not interfere with the exercise of affections suited to mournful dispensations of providence.”[1] These “mournful dispensations of providence”—tragedies that take your spouse when you want her to stay living with you, that take your child when you expect him to grow old, that take your health or your security or your dreams—bring with them a tumult of emotion. And we see in Mordecai an honest and understandable reaction which sets many of us free to do the same: to feel and acknowledge and communicate our emotions in a godly way, rather than to suppress or ignore them.

A trust in God and a commitment to the understanding that He overrules everything for the praise of His glory and will bring everything underneath the rule of Christ does not rule out lament over the sinfulness and brokenness of this world. It is legitimate and even good for us to express deep sadness, lament, inquiry, discouragement, disappointment, fearfulness, and faintheartedness when our path leads us through difficulty. As you face such emotions, cry out to God. He does not forsake His people. He does not sneer at your pain or disdain your tears. Indeed, “the LORD is near to the brokenhearted” (Psalm 34:18).