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Planting Hedges in Marriage (Part 3 of 4)

Ephesians 5:22–33
Program

“Looking out for number one” is often touted as an effective way to survive or get ahead in a competitive environment. But find out why such selfishness—as well as laziness—is actually detrimental to marriage. Join us on Truth For Life with Alistair Begg.

From the Sermon

Planting Hedges in Marriage — Part Two

Ephesians 5:22–33 Sermon Includes Transcript 48:04 ID: 1892

No Neutrality

No Neutrality

Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.

Any patient who has undergone a bone marrow transplant knows the importance of being isolated from any possibility of infection. Because their immune system is so depleted, they are far more susceptible to disease than the average person. If a visitor arrives coughing and spluttering, excusing it as “no big deal” would be abhorrent to the patient and to their doctors. Any sickness is to be resisted like a plague because its consequences are potentially fatal.

Christian love should reflect this kind of radical mentality when it comes to evil. We cannot say that we genuinely love others if we cherish, or even only tolerate, evil in our hearts and distance ourselves from good. We cannot toy with wickedness, seeking to establish some laissez-faire approach to particular sins. “Abhor” is as strong a word as it is possible for Paul to use. He has no notion of neutrality when it comes to purity.

At the start of this verse, Paul has already instructed his readers to “let love be genuine.” Isn’t it interesting, then, that Paul immediately follows “love” with a word that essentially means “hate”? We often think that if we love, we shouldn’t hate anything or anyone—but that’s just sentimentality. Paul makes it clear that love “does not rejoice at wrongdoing” (1 Corinthians 13:6). If you love your spouse with a passionate purity, you hate everything which would rob you of that relationship; otherwise, your love is not love. The same applies to our love for the things of God. We cannot love holiness without hating its opposite.

As Paul continues, he turns from the negative to the positive, using the same phrase, “hold fast,” that Jesus uses to describe a husband and wife’s relationship (see Matthew 19:5).Paul doesn’t use this phrase arbitrarily. Marriage is the closest human union possible—psychologically, intellectually, and spiritually. So Paul is saying here that Christian love should have a “superglue” commitment to goodness.

We must be careful not to fall into the world’s trap of calling “evil good and good evil” or being those “who put darkness for light and light for darkness” (Isaiah 5:20). God’s people understand that there is a time for love and a time for hate (Ecclesiastes 3:8). So how would you describe your attitude to evil—especially those sins that are most attractive to you or most celebrated by those who live around you? What would change if you abhorred them? Today, rely on God’s Spirit to enable you to love properly by hating what God does, echoing the prayer of John Baillie: “O God, give me the power to follow after that which is good. Now as I pray, let there be no secret purpose of evil formed in our minds, that waits for an opportunity of fulfillment.”[1]

Questions for Thought

How is God calling me to think differently?

How is God reordering my heart’s affections — what I love?

What is God calling me to do as I go about my day today?

Further Reading

Temptations to Sin

42k“Whoever causes one of lthese little ones who believe in me to sin,7 mit would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea. 43nAnd if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to ohell,8 to pthe unquenchable fire.9 45qAnd if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into ohell. 47rAnd if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into shell, 48‘where ttheir worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.’ 49For everyone will be salted with fire.10 50vSalt is good, wbut if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? xHave salt in yourselves, and ybe at peace with one another.”

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Footnotes
7 9:42 Greek to stumble; also verses 43, 45, 47
8 9:43 Greek Gehenna; also verse 47
9 9:43 Some manuscripts add verses 44 and 46 (which are identical with verse 48)
10 9:49 Some manuscripts add and every sacrifice will be salted with salt
Footnotes
1 “Sixth Day, Evening,” in A Diary of Private Prayer (Fireside, 1996), p 31.

Devotional material is taken from the Truth For Life daily devotionals by Alistair Begg, published by The Good Book Company, thegoodbook.com. Used by Truth For Life with permission. Copyright © 2021, 2022, The Good Book Company.

Remain Unshaken

Remain Unshaken

… In order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain.

We have many things in our possession at the present moment that can be shaken, and it is not good for a Christian to rely upon them, for there is nothing stable beneath these rolling skies; change is written upon all things. Yet we have certain "things that cannot be shaken," and I invite you this evening to think of them—that if the things that can be shaken should all be taken away, you may derive real comfort from the things that cannot be shaken and that will remain. Whatever your losses have been, or may be, you enjoy present salvation.

You are standing at the foot of Christ's cross, trusting alone in the merit of His precious blood, and no rise or fall of the markets can interfere with your salvation in Him; no breaking of banks, no failures and bankruptcies can touch that. Then you are a child of God this evening. God is your Father. No change of circumstances can ever rob you of that. Even if by loss you are brought to poverty and stripped bare, you can still say, "He is still my Father. In my Father's house are many rooms; therefore I will not be troubled." You have another permanent blessing, namely, the love of Jesus Christ. He who is God and man loves you with all the strength of His affectionate nature—nothing can affect that. The fig tree may not blossom, and the flocks may dwindle and wander from the field, but it does not matter to the man who can sing, "My Beloved is mine, and I am His." Our best portion and richest heritage we cannot lose.

Whatever troubles come, let us play the man; let us show that we are not like little children cast down by what happens to us in this poor fleeting state of time. Our country is Immanuel's land, our hope is fixed in heaven, and therefore, calm as the summer's ocean, we will see the wreck of everything earthborn and yet rejoice in the God of our salvation.

Devotional material is taken from Morning and Evening, written by C. H. Spurgeon, revised and updated by Alistair Begg. Copyright © 2003, Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, IL 60187, www.crossway.org. Used by Truth For Life with written permission.

Daily Bible Reading for June 22

Deuteronomy 27, Deuteronomy 28:1–19, Psalm 119:1–24, Isaiah 54, Matthew 2

Deuteronomy 27

The Altar on Mount Ebal

1Now Moses and the elders of Israel commanded the people, saying, “Keep the whole commandment that I command you today. 2And on the day syou cross over the Jordan to the land that the Lord your God is giving you, you shall set up large stones and plaster them with plaster. 3tAnd you shall write on them all the words of this law, when you cross over to enter the land that the Lord your God is giving you, ua land flowing with milk and honey, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you. 4And when you have crossed over the Jordan, you shall set up these stones, concerning which I command you today, von Mount Ebal, and you shall plaster them with plaster. 5And there you shall build an altar to the Lord your God, an altar of stones. wYou shall wield no iron tool on them; 6you shall build an altar to the Lord your God of uncut1 stones. And you shall offer burnt offerings on it to the Lord your God, 7and you shall sacrifice peace offerings and xshall eat there, and you xshall rejoice before the Lord your God. 8And yyou shall write on the stones all the words of this law very plainly.”

Curses from Mount Ebal

9Then Moses and the Levitical priests said to all Israel, “Keep silence and hear, O Israel: zthis day you have become the people of the Lord your God. 10You shall therefore obey the voice of the Lord your God, keeping his commandments and his statutes, which I command you today.”

11That day Moses charged the people, saying, 12“When you have crossed over the Jordan, athese shall stand on Mount Gerizim to bless the people: Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Joseph, and Benjamin. 13And these shall stand on Mount Ebal for the curse: Reuben, Gad, Asher, Zebulun, Dan, and Naphtali. 14And bthe Levites shall declare to all the men of Israel in a loud voice:

15c“‘Cursed be the man who makes a carved or cast metal image, an abomination to the Lord, a thing made by the hands of a craftsman, and sets it up in secret.’ dAnd all the people shall answer and say, ‘Amen.’

16e“‘Cursed be anyone who dishonors his father or his mother.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

17f“‘Cursed be anyone who moves his neighbor's landmark.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

18g“‘Cursed be anyone who misleads a blind man on the road.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

19h“‘Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

20i“‘Cursed be anyone who lies with his father's wife, because he has juncovered his father's nakedness.’2 And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

21k“‘Cursed be anyone who lies with any kind of animal.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

22l“‘Cursed be anyone who lies with his sister, whether the daughter of his father or the daughter of his mother.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

23m“‘Cursed be anyone who lies with his mother-in-law.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

24n“‘Cursed be anyone who strikes down his neighbor in secret.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

25o“‘Cursed be anyone who takes a bribe to shed innocent blood.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

26p“‘Cursed be anyone who does not confirm the words of this law by doing them.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

Deuteronomy 28:1–19

Blessings for Obedience

1“And qif you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you rhigh above all the nations of the earth. 2And all these blessings shall come upon you and sovertake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. 3Blessed shall you be in the city, and tblessed shall you be in the field. 4Blessed shall be uthe fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. 5Blessed shall be your basket and your vkneading bowl. 6Blessed shall you be wwhen you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.

7“The Lord xwill cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways. 8The Lord ywill command the blessing on you in your barns and zin all that you undertake. aAnd he will bless you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 9bThe Lord will establish you as a people holy to himself, as he has sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of the Lord your God and walk in his ways. 10And call the peoples of the earth shall see that you are dcalled by the name of the Lord, and they shall be eafraid of you. 11And fthe Lord will make you abound in prosperity, in uthe fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your livestock and in the fruit of your ground, within the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give you. 12The Lord will open to you his good treasury, the heavens, gto give the rain to your land in its season and hto bless all the work of your hands. And iyou shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. 13And the Lord will make you jthe head and not the tail, and you shall only go up and not down, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you today, being careful to do them, 14kand if you do not turn aside from any of the words that I command you today, to the right hand or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.

Curses for Disobedience

15“But lif you will not obey the voice of the Lord your God or be careful to do all his commandments and his statutes that I command you today, then all these curses shall come upon you and movertake you. 16Cursed shall you be nin the city, and cursed shall you be in the field. 17Cursed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. 18Cursed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. 19Cursed shall you be when you come in, and cursed shall you be when you go out.

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Footnotes
1 27:6 Hebrew whole
2 27:20 Hebrew uncovered his father's skirt

Your Word Is a Lamp to My Feet

Aleph

11 Blessed are those whose kway is blameless,

who lwalk in the law of the Lord!

2Blessed are those who mkeep his ntestimonies,

who oseek him with their whole heart,

3who also pdo no wrong,

but walk in his ways!

4You have commanded your qprecepts

to be kept diligently.

5Oh that my ways may rbe steadfast

in keeping your statutes!

6sThen I shall not be put to shame,

having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.

7I will praise you with an upright heart,

when I learn tyour righteous rules.2

8I will keep your statutes;

udo not utterly forsake me!

Beth

9How can va young man keep his way pure?

By guarding it according to your word.

10wWith my whole heart I seek you;

let me not xwander from your commandments!

11I have ystored up your word in my heart,

that I might not sin against you.

12Blessed are you, O Lord;

zteach me your statutes!

13With my lips I adeclare

all the rules3 of your mouth.

14In the way of your testimonies I bdelight

as much as in all criches.

15I will dmeditate on your precepts

and fix my eyes on your eways.

16I will fdelight in your statutes;

I will not forget your word.

Gimel

17gDeal bountifully with your servant,

hthat I may live and keep your word.

18Open my eyes, that I may behold

wondrous things out of your law.

19I am ia sojourner on the earth;

jhide not your commandments from me!

20My soul is consumed with klonging

for your rules4 at all times.

21You rebuke lthe insolent, maccursed ones,

who nwander from your commandments.

22Take away from me oscorn and contempt,

pfor I have kept your testimonies.

23Even though qprinces sit plotting against me,

your servant will rmeditate on your statutes.

24Your testimonies are my sdelight;

they are my tcounselors.

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Footnotes
1 119:1 This psalm is an acrostic poem of twenty-two stanzas, following the letters of the Hebrew alphabet; within a stanza, each verse begins with the same Hebrew letter
2 119:7 Or your just and righteous decrees; also verses 62, 106, 160, 164
3 119:13 Or all the just decrees
4 119:20 Or your just decrees; also verses 30, 39, 43, 52, 75, 102, 108, 137, 156, 175

The Eternal Covenant of Peace

1h“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;

break forth into singing and cry aloud,

you who have not been in labor!

For the children of ithe desolate one jwill be more

than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord.

2k“Enlarge the place of your tent,

and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;

do not hold back; lengthen your cords

and strengthen your stakes.

3lFor you will spread abroad to the right and to the left,

and your offspring will possess the nations

and will people the desolate cities.

4“Fear not, mfor you will not be ashamed;

be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;

for you will forget the shame of your youth,

and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.

5nFor your Maker is your husband,

the Lord of hosts is his name;

oand the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,

pthe God of the whole earth he is called.

6qFor the Lord has called you

like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,

like a wife of youth when she is cast off,

says your God.

7rFor a brief moment I deserted you,

but with great compassion I will gather you.

8rIn overflowing anger for a moment

I hid my face from you,

sbut with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”

says the Lord, your Redeemer.

9“This is like tthe days of Noah1 to me:

as I swore that the waters of Noah

should no more go over the earth,

so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you,

and will not rebuke you.

10For the mountains may depart

and the hills be removed,

but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,

and umy covenant of peace shall not be removed,”

says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

11v“O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted,

behold, wI will set your stones in antimony,

xand lay your foundations with sapphires.2

12I will make your pinnacles of agate,3

your gates of carbuncles,4

and all your wall of precious stones.

13yAll your children zshall be taught by the Lord,

aand great shall be the peace of your children.

14In righteousness you shall be established;

you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;

and from terror, for it shall not come near you.

15bIf anyone stirs up strife,

it is not from me;

whoever stirs up strife with you

shall fall because of you.

16Behold, I have created the smith

who blows the fire of coals

and produces a weapon for its purpose.

I have also created the ravager to destroy;

17no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed,

and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord

cand their vindication5 from me, declares the Lord.”

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Footnotes
1 54:9 Some manuscripts For this is as the waters of Noah
2 54:11 Or lapis lazuli
3 54:12 Or jasper, or ruby
4 54:12 Or crystal
5 54:17 Or righteousness

The Visit of the Wise Men

1Now hafter Jesus was born in iBethlehem of Judea jin the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men1 from kthe east came to Jerusalem, 2saying, “Where is he who has been born lking of the Jews? For we saw mhis star when it rose2 and have come to nworship him.” 3When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; 4and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where othe Christ was to be born. 5They told him, “In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet:

6p“‘And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,

are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;

for from you shall come a ruler

who will qshepherd my people Israel.’”

7Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared. 8And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him.” 9After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was. 10When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. 11And going into the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, rthey offered him gifts, sgold and tfrankincense and umyrrh. 12And vbeing warned win a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way.

The Flight to Egypt

13Now when they had departed, behold, xan angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.” 14And he rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt 15and remained there until the death of Herod. yThis was to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet, z“Out of Egypt I called my son.”

Herod Kills the Children

16Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had ascertained from the wise men. 17aThen was fulfilled what was spoken by the prophet Jeremiah:

18b“A voice was heard in Ramah,

weeping and loud lamentation,

Rachel weeping for her children;

she refused to be comforted, because they care no more.”

The Return to Nazareth

19But when Herod died, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, 20saying, “Rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for dthose who sought the child's life are dead.” 21And he rose and took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. 22But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there, and ebeing warned in a dream he withdrew to the district of Galilee. 23And he went and lived in a city called fNazareth, gso that what was spoken by the prophets might be fulfilled, that he would be called a Nazarene.

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Footnotes
1 2:1 Greek magi; also verses 7, 16
2 2:2 Or in the east; also verse 9
Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. The ESV text may not be quoted in any publication made available to the public by a Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be translated in whole or in part into any other language.

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